05 Jan Three Steps To Happiness
Three Simple and Achievable Steps to Feeling as Happy as Possible – Whatever the Situation
Happiness is relative. We can’t always experience unbridled elation, but no matter how bad things may seem, we can always feel happier.
In this blog, you’ll find three simple and achievable steps to feeling as happy as possible whatever the situation.
First some context.
In many ways, happiness and mental well-being are influenced by the choices we make. In particular, they are about how we respond to the events and circumstances that life throws at us.
Many of the situations we face, like other people’s actions, world events and even the weather, can directly affect us whilst being out of our control. We usually can’t do anything about these situations happening, but we can choose how we respond to them.
For example, we may want the weather to be nice for our holiday so we can spend time on the beach. But if meteorological conditions beyond our control determine that it isn’t, we can still choose to have an enjoyable vacation by engaging in other activities.
We may prefer certain people to be nice to us and treat us with respect, but if they don’t, we can choose to feel a bit disappointed as opposed to being angry, upset or hurt.
Even in the very worst situations, we can choose to find alternative outcomes that are more acceptable. No matter how bad things may seem, there are always better (and worse) options.
It’s important to remember that happiness is relative to the situation we find ourselves in. To take an extreme example, if someone we care about passes away, it’s appropriate to feel sad, but at the same time we can choose to draw comfort from happy memories.
3 Steps to Happiness
Given that the choices we make have a strong influence on how we feel, we can choose an approach to life that can help us feel as happy as possible whatever the circumstances.
This approach involves three simple steps:
Step 1 – Don’t Take Yourself too Seriously
Better still, don’t take anything too seriously – life is too short. When we take ourselves too seriously, we get stuck. Instead of enjoying life we become paralysed with inaction. We fear failure and worry about what other people think. By contrast, when we can laugh at ourselves, things don’t seem so bad. Instead of fearing failure, we learn from our mistakes, take risks and embrace success …and happiness.
Step 2 – Move Out of Your Comfort Zone
As children, we are regularly ‘forced’ to embrace new situations and challenges. It’s how learn new skills and develop into confident adults. But as we get older and have more control of our lives, we become more drawn to our comfort zones (which feel safe and secure) and less inclined to experience change. However, comfort zones tend to gradually shrink around us until we stop choosing to experience anything different, in case we don’t like it. When we step out of our comfort zone, we stop fearing change and prove to ourselves how strong and resilient we really are – and that makes us happy.
Step 3 – Perform Random Acts of Kindness
When we’re unhappy, we tend to focus inwardly, obsess about our own problems, and not engage with the world. Performing regular, random acts of kindness is an easy and proven way to break out of this unhelpful state of mind. Being kind to others shows that we’re that we’re not focusing unhealthily on ourselves. The wonderful thing about an act of kindness, is that whilst the recipient will feel good, you’ll feel even better.
Mark Twain famously said, ‘kindness is a language that the blind can see and the deaf can hear’. Perhaps he should have added that it’s also an important step on the path to happiness.